Quotes of the day

Tonight, a five-pack, courtesy of my always inquisitive and helpful neighbors. Believe me, there's nothing like going for a run at 11:45 to bring out the comedy. I went for a couple mile run, just to keep my legs loose. fn1.

Quote One
From a 300-pound, spilling out of her shorts and tank top woman sitting in front of the apartments at 103 and Amsterdam:
"Put on a shirt. Wax your chest, man!"
Listen here, you disgustingly obese tub of lard. Get lipo, staple your stomach, or do whatever else it takes to lose half the blubber off your fat ass. Then, and only then, will I consider waxing my chest.

Quote Two
From a middle-aged female panhandler walking with a cane:
"Could you spare some change tonight?"
Uh, hello. I'm running up Broadway, wearing nothing but pocketless running shorts and running shoes, sweat running off my eyelashes onto my nose and dripping onto my lower lip. Do I LOOK like I have spare change with me. Yeah, actually, it's in the bottom of my shoe (giving me blisters) so that if I get tired I can call home.

Quote Three
"I don't know," said an old man, raising his cane and pointing at me. "I just can't move like that anymore."

Quote Four
Mid-20s female, spiky blonde hair, smoking outside a bar on Broadway.
"Run boy! Run RUN RUN!"
Nothing like having your own private cheering section.

Quote Five
Panhandler at 105 and Broadway:
"Excuse me sir. Could you help out -- never mind. You ain't got no money."
Finally, someone who's with the program.
1. Fortunately, it seems to be working. My legs felt real good after the first half mile or so.