Indications of my importance in the world, or "How I screwed up at work again"
A couple days ago, I came to the somewhat depressing realization that my importance in the world (and by "world" I mean "workplace") is measured entirely by email and voicemail messages.
Basically, all of my work and assignments start out with either an email or a phone call saying, "I have an assignment for you. Come to my office and we'll talk." No one ever pops their head in my door and says, "Hey, can I talk to you about an assignment?" Especially now, because the group I'm working with sits on a different floor than I do. I think they would rather move heaven and earth -- or really, really large stacks of paper -- rather than walking up one flight of stairs to talk to me. fn1. Which is just fine with me.
Consequently, if I step away from my office and return to an empty in-box and no phone messages, it means that I absolutely was not missed. I might as well have stayed away longer. Which is what made me realize my relative unimportance in the world -- the only thing that makes it worthwhile for me to show up at work is an email or a voicemail. If I don't get any of those, then I would have been just as effective sitting at home. fn2.
The corollary to this, however, is that as soon as I do get a message, I am very important. Meaning that while if I respond to the message, I am going to be given fairly minor work which will only be a small part of any given deal. But if I do not respond to the message, then I look VERY bad. It's a lose-lose-lose situation.
Lose 1: My worth is measured by whether or not I have received an email. Pretty sad.
Lose 2: If I respond to a message, about the best I can do is to not screw up. I can at best marginally improve my position.
Lose 3: If I don't respond to the message, then I look like a huge slacker and a weak link.
So this morning, I moved on to "Lose 3," which is arguably the worst level of losing. I overslept and was slow getting ready, which meant that I slithered into my office at 10:25 -- late even by my standards. I figured it was my last day in the group, and the day before a long weekend, so I should be ok.
Of course, I was very wrong. In my inbox was a messaged with an 8:58 timestamp, asking me to call another attorney. I called her immediately, but she said that "her problem had gone away." Which means that either she did the work herself, or found another summer to do it. Either way, not only do I look like a huge slacker, but I didn't even have a chance to atone for myself by doing extra-good work.
**** me. I'm such an idiot.
1. I suppose moving really, really large stacks of paper is what attorneys spend most of their time doing. So maybe the analogy is a bit off.
2. However, my apartment unfortunately does not have nearly as spectacular views as my office. The Statue of Liberty beats looking at my neighbors' shade-covered windows and a tiny sliver of daylight any day.
Basically, all of my work and assignments start out with either an email or a phone call saying, "I have an assignment for you. Come to my office and we'll talk." No one ever pops their head in my door and says, "Hey, can I talk to you about an assignment?" Especially now, because the group I'm working with sits on a different floor than I do. I think they would rather move heaven and earth -- or really, really large stacks of paper -- rather than walking up one flight of stairs to talk to me. fn1. Which is just fine with me.
Consequently, if I step away from my office and return to an empty in-box and no phone messages, it means that I absolutely was not missed. I might as well have stayed away longer. Which is what made me realize my relative unimportance in the world -- the only thing that makes it worthwhile for me to show up at work is an email or a voicemail. If I don't get any of those, then I would have been just as effective sitting at home. fn2.
The corollary to this, however, is that as soon as I do get a message, I am very important. Meaning that while if I respond to the message, I am going to be given fairly minor work which will only be a small part of any given deal. But if I do not respond to the message, then I look VERY bad. It's a lose-lose-lose situation.
Lose 1: My worth is measured by whether or not I have received an email. Pretty sad.
Lose 2: If I respond to a message, about the best I can do is to not screw up. I can at best marginally improve my position.
Lose 3: If I don't respond to the message, then I look like a huge slacker and a weak link.
So this morning, I moved on to "Lose 3," which is arguably the worst level of losing. I overslept and was slow getting ready, which meant that I slithered into my office at 10:25 -- late even by my standards. I figured it was my last day in the group, and the day before a long weekend, so I should be ok.
Of course, I was very wrong. In my inbox was a messaged with an 8:58 timestamp, asking me to call another attorney. I called her immediately, but she said that "her problem had gone away." Which means that either she did the work herself, or found another summer to do it. Either way, not only do I look like a huge slacker, but I didn't even have a chance to atone for myself by doing extra-good work.
**** me. I'm such an idiot.
1. I suppose moving really, really large stacks of paper is what attorneys spend most of their time doing. So maybe the analogy is a bit off.
2. However, my apartment unfortunately does not have nearly as spectacular views as my office. The Statue of Liberty beats looking at my neighbors' shade-covered windows and a tiny sliver of daylight any day.
posted by N at 11:01 AM
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