My new imaginary friend

The great thing about becoming a blogger is that now I can have imaginary friends. I mean, isn't that part of the whole "internet culture" thing? I suppose some people experience this part of internet culture by having a "real" girlfriend (blonde, 36-24-36 fn1, former model) who is actually an overweight, hairy, 46-year-old man who still lives in his mother's basement. fn2. But I think for me, a wholly imaginary friend would be safer and more "fun." fn3.

This whole topic of an imaginary friend came up because of my friend R2, who after reading my blog had this response:
"...you just need to find two D friends that I can hang out with so you can say 'Me and R2D2 ...' C'mon, it'll be fun."
R2, as usual, is right on the money. Unfortunately, I don't really have any D friends. I looked through my phone and found only a few Ds. fn4. None of them figure to play such an important role in my life that they'll make it to the blog. Besides, I don't see them becoming tight with R2 in the near future.

So it became clear to me that the solution was two imaginary friends, both of whom had names starting with D. It would be like "my brother Darryl, and my other brother Darryl." My other brother Darryl, aka D2, happens to be close friends with R2, and we always hang out together.

So I think R2D2 and I will maybe grab some Vegetarian's Paradise (aka VP2) tonight, hopefully along with K2 (the BRY character, not the ski brand) and some other law school peeps. Maybe I'll even ask K1 and S1 if they want to join us.


1. The Violent Femmes have a great song called "36-24-36." Some of the lyrics go

see a girl walkin' down the street
just the kind of girl that I'd like to meet
it ain't her hair, her clothes, her feet
somethin' much more discreet...
36-24-36, I want lots of pretty chicks
36-24-36, I want lots of pretty chicks

Good stuff, I'm telling you.
Speaking of the Femmes, as I was searching for lyrics, I found their summer tour schedule, which does not include a date in New York. (In fact, they are only playing two dates on the east coast - Baltimore and Virginia Beach.) They have not played New York since last summer, at Irving Plaza -- a show that I stupidly missed. Femmes, I think it's time for a date in New York. We'll sell out, I guarantee.

2. Just to be perfectly clear, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with hairy men. Only hairy men posing as young nubile women. Or posing as women, period, I suppose.

3. Probably not as much fun as certain tshirts with certain inscriptions, but fun none the less.

4. The phone book of my cell is the only way I keep track of my friends. If you're not in my phone, then you almost certainly are not my friend. Of course, if you are in my phone, it does not necessarily follow that you're my friend.
What's more interesting about all this, however, is the extremely high number of As and Js in my phone book, in addition to the heavy skewing toward the first half of the alphabet. That, however, is fodder for another post.